What does the future hold?
by brittface28
Summary: Astrid Milton knows of John Connor's future, and she loves him. But how can a reletionship last when it's not what the future holds? happens before T3 and holds info from T:SCC. rated M, coarse language etc.
1. Chapter 1

John sat in front of me for weeks. I always wanted to say something to him. But he and his sister were so close, I felt like a fool. He was so handsome. I never knew it was him. My father had told me of him, in all his glory. The magnificent man who led the resistance, the man who single handily controlled a rebel against machines. How could this cute boy, who always asked for help, and could never remember graphing, be that great and powerful man? I didn't know, I never would, but I wanted to. John was a kind soul, but you could see in his eyes he had a heavy heart. I knew why, I understood. He carried the world on his shoulders. He was going to be responsible for the survival of humanity. But now, he was just some random kid, a normal teenager with acne and homework. No one knew. No one knew he was so important. All those who pushed him aside, they had no idea how important he was. I knew. I admired him. I loved him.

In 1984 Kyle Reese went back in time to save the life of Sarah Connors. He did that because John Connors sent him. Kyle Reese was, is his father. Kyle died trying to save Sarah, he loved her. My father was Dominic Milton, Kyle's best friend. They grew up together, fought together, survived together. When Kyle was sent back, my father went too. He wasn't going to live in the destroyed world without Kyle. They were closer than brothers. My father asked John Connors; at first he said no, but after time, something changed his mind, and he let it happen. My father came too late though. He came in time to find Kyle dead. But the good thing was Sarah was still alive. And for years my father watched her, to make sure she was alright, to protect her. But he couldn't do that forever, and soon, he fell in love. He met my mother. Hope Saunders. She was young and vibrant; a nurse with a giant heart. My brother Reese John was born, then me, Astrid Kylie.

I always wanted to talk to John. The fact that after years and years of hearing his stories, learning everything about him, he was in my class, at my school, it was brilliant feeling. I always wanted to talk to him. To say hi, ask how he was doing…but how to approach that type of person? I couldn't just run up to him and tell him he was my hero, tell him I was named after his father, and my brother was named after him and his father. That would scare him. But I needed to convey my emotions. I need to let him know he wasn't alone. I thought about him for weeks. Every night I dreamt another meeting between us- some good, some bad, some just normal. I didn't tell my father, I couldn't. He would storm John and Sarah. He would bring back painful memories of Kyle, he would ruin what little happiness I hoped they had. I couldn't bare to be the one who brought that on them. One day, I told myself, one day I would talk to John, more than just give him answers to yesterday's homework. One day I would tell him I loved him.

That day came. After waiting, and hoping, after all that time, we met—officially. It was a Monday after Christmas break. I've never liked Christmas, my mother died on Christmas Eve when I was 8. I was happy to be back in school, back to normality. On breaks my father trained us to fight, to survive. It was hard and painful. He was so hard on us. He was so tough, but it pained him to watch us fight. It pained him to think of the future; his past. He knew half the people we met would die. It's a horrible burden to bare when you know the life you live will end horrifically.

I was walking the halls when I saw Cameron Connors, John's odd sister on the floor searching. She was feeling every inch. "Do you need help?" I asked timidly. She sometimes did odd things, and changed her mood, or remained feeling-less, I assumed she was perhaps bipolar? She looked at me. "No." she said abruptly. "Are you sure?" I was trying to be as nice as possible. "No. Leave." She said rudely as she continued to feel the ground. "But I think I can help?" I said, she then pushed my legs out from under me and fell directly on my back. It hurt terribly. But from my training I learned that pain can be disconnected. "Shit sorry!" John said as he came running up and extended a hand to me. "I'm sorry about my sister. She lost her uhh—contact lenses." He smiled politely. He had a perfect smile, warm yet strong. "It's alright, I was offering her help, but I guess I was just too stubborn." I laughed. John smiled. "I'm John Reese." He extended his hand. My heart leapt, I extended mine. "Astrid Milton, hi." I smiled like a fool. I was star-struck.

"Yeah I know you sit behind me in math." John said. My heart leapt again, he knew me. "Yeah, is your sister going to be okay?" I asked. I was worried she was still searching the floor. "Yeah just fine, thanks. C'mon Cameron, thanks again, I'll see you in class." He helped Cameron up; he gave her an angry look. "That wasn't very normal." He whispered. She got out of his grip. "I was searching for something." "What?" "My cool." She said it perfectly normal. John looked her with confusion. "What?" "A girl told me I 'lost my cool' so I was looking for it." John began to laugh. They continued to walk away, as I watched them, I smiled. I went to my locker and grabbed my books. "Hey sis!" Reese said as he came up to me. "Sup?" he asked.

"I formally just met John Connors." I said proudly. Reese stared at me, his mouth a gape. "No! You're shittin me!" he said, I smiled. "Nope, he sits in front of me in math, and today we met. He goes by John Reese- which is so obvious. I wonder who the girl is though. I mean he calls her his sister. But we both know John's brother died before Kyle was sent back in time." I wondered who this Cameron was. She was very young, she wasn't from the future, and I don't remember my father saying Sarah had other children. But if she was the same age…she wasn't Kyle's that's for sure. "Well shit. John Connors. The John Connors. How long have you known?" Reese was intrigued, I could tell. His blue eyes sparkled with interest. "For a while. Like, almost two months." "And you haven't told me?" "No, and you can't tell dad! Promise please! I don't want him to bug them. You know he will." "Alright, but once you two get closer, I want to meet him. Man the shit you could learn from him." Reese was off thinking of his future abilities. "You know, he doesn't know that stuff yet? He's still training. He's still learning." I burst Reese's bubble. He laughed "good point, but still in the future he'll have known us. Wow." Reese walked away happily.

That night I dreamt not about meeting John, but about being with him. I knew I was not to be his wife. His wife was another girl, one from his childhood, one he bonds with, his second in command. Me, I was just a girl who loves him. In my dream he saved me, he took me to a place where I wouldn't die from the bombs. He stayed with me, and we spent the night together; emotionally and intimately. I awoke to my father running a drill. The end of the world was now and we had to prepare. It was 3 am, I was tired and angry he ruined my perfect dream. I participated but was not pleasant. Afterwards I crawled back into bed. Reese came into my room and laid next to me. "You know, these drills may be lame, but they will help. When it does happen, we'll be prepared." I nodded. "I know. The only reason I'd want to live is to see John become the great ruler he's destined to be." Reese laughed. "I think my baby sister has a crush." I sighed. "If the world knew of his future accomplishments everyone would have a 'crush' on him. Now it's only 5am, I'd like to sleep for a least another hour and a half." Reese nodded and went to leave. "Astrid, his destiny is with Kate. He's going to love her forever." He was at my doorway. I rolled over to look at him, he looked sad. I closed my eyes. "I know. But that's in the future. They won't meet for years. Right now, at this moment in time, maybe he can love me. Even if he forgets, and he will, he will move on. At least I'll have had him." I opened my eyes to see Reese turned around. "For your sake I hope you're right." Reese left. I wanted to cry. I held my pillow and wept.


	2. Chapter 2

I woke up late. It was 9 am. I was extremely late for school; I jumped out of bed and raced to get dressed, only to find my father and brother sitting at the kitchen table.

"Today is about training. School tomorrow." My father said as he stood up. He went to the stove and started to scramble eggs.

"Why?" I protested. I wanted to see John.

We were acquaintances- I could say hi, we could become friends. "Because I said so. Sit." Father said in his angry tone. He had such a temper. I looked at my brother he frowned. I looked at him in confusion, when he pointed to the calendar. The date; the 13th of May. It was on this day Kyle was killed. I sighed, John could wait, right now my father needed us.

We spent the entire day timing how long to load guns, learning how to fix them etc. We ended at about 8pm.

"You can make dinner now, I'm going out back. I'll be there for majority of the night." Father said as he walked away.

He looked so upset, he never showed weakness, but if he did right now he'd be crying.

"Pain can be controlled - you just disconnect it." Reese said.

"What do you want for dinner?" I asked him, he smiled.

"You're specialty" I laughed.

"Alright, so shall I call for pizza or Chinese?" We both laughed, we learned how to dial for take away a long time ago.

As we waited for dinner, I went on the computer. I had an e-mail from Maggie, the one friend I actually was able to keep. It read "John was asking for you today in math! I thought you ought to know, I know you fancy him. I hope you feel alright. Cheers." Maggie was from England, she was a kind hearted soul, with giant, blue expressive eyes. Her curly red hair and freckles made her adorable. All the boys loved her. She loved them as well. She was always asking me to go on double dates with her, but such trivial things like dates, seemed pointless. Especially when I knew the end of the world was coming. When I re-read the e-mail for the third time I allowed myself to freak. I was so excited! John was asking for me? Me!? I danced around the room, Reese started to laugh.

"What's gotten in your pants?" he laughed.

"John asked for me!" I blurted out. Reese smiled weakly.

"Awesome." I was happy he was humouring me.

The next day I made sure I looked extra nice. I had to, for John. I straightened my curly auburn hair; I applied lip gloss to my lips, and put mascara around my green eyes.

"I see you've finally decided to be a girl." Reese said as he watched me try and do my make-up. He had his arms crossed.

"Hurry up Astrid, I'd like to go this century." Reese said as he walked away. "Yeah." I replied. I was nervous and excited. I couldn't wait for math class.

When Reese pulled up to school I jumped about before he could even park. "Good luck!" he shouted. I waved as I ran to my locker; I was hoping to find Maggie on the way. I got to my locker and calmly grabbed my books and did some organizing. Maggie found me.

"Ello mate, how are yeah?" she asked.

I smiled at her. "I see you got my e-mail." She laughed.

"Yeah, do I look alright?" I asked. She smiled and sighed.

"C'mon, I'll fix you're face." We laughed as we walked to the bathroom.

"I'm surprised it took John this long to talk to you. You pretty much stare at him all class; he must know you're mad in love with him."

She said as she fumbled with the mascara, she fixed it, it looked rather good too. "Thanks Mags, I'm so nervous, what if he thinks I'm a dork?" I asked, Maggie laughed.

"Fuck him then! What will it matter in a hundred years, who you guys were?" she laughed, I sighed.

There was an eerie truth to her statement, not about John, but me. No one will remember me. John will live forever, his memory at least.

"Alright go get 'em!" she said as she pushed me out the door. I smiled, thank-god for my best friend.

I walked slowly to math, postponing the agony. What if all he really wanted was my help? Or my notes? Maybe I should stay home forever. No, maybe I should just tell him about me, and my father. No. Maybe I should just say hi? That might work. I prepared myself for the upcoming conversation. Various versions ran through my head. Each one more elaborate than the last, until finally I just ignored them and focused on getting to math unharmed.

I got there. I was shaking. I saw John, my stomach jumped into my throat and my heart disappeared. He had stolen it, that and my breath. He looked at me and smiled. "Astrid, hey." He said he pulled out my chair for me.

I blushed as I sat down. "Hey John Connor, John" I exhaled, I was finding it hard to remember to breathe.

"Are you alright? You were away yesterday?" he asked. I smiled weakly.

"Yeah, fine, my dad just wanted me home. You how odd parents can be."

I laughed. John smiled knowingly. "Yeah, definitely, so tell me something interesting about yourself?" he said.

I was shocked, what a forward question, I loved it. "Umm…I have an older brother named Reese?" I said. John smiled. I knew he was smiling because of the name, his father's surname.

"What about you?" I asked.

"I have a sister, who you saw, her name's Cameron, and then I have a mom. Sarah." John was proud of his mother, I could see it in his eyes, and the way he had to add her name, and the way he said it.

"My dad's name is Dominic. My mom died." I said, John looked at me, he put his hand on mine, and my stomach did back flips.

"Yeah, same kind of thing with my dad." I laughed to myself. Technically his father wasn't even born yet, his grandparents weren't probably even born yet.

"Well that was foreword." I laughed,

John smiled. "I like to get to know people right away, yeah know? No bullshit sorta thing. And I also wanted to thank-you for helping, or well, trying to help my sister. She sometimes acts weird. It's just how she is." He looked away. When most people talk of siblings with problems, they seem embarrassed but brave. And yet John just seemed annoyed.

"It's alright. I wanted to help, as long as I didn't scare her." John smiled.

"You're a genuinely kind person aren't you?" I blushed a deep tomato red at the compliment. But then I shook out of it. John Connors was ruthless, why would he want a 'compassionate' love?

"So, maybe today you can help me grasp this math. I've been lost without you." He laughed, I smiled. "I've only been gone for one day." He blushed a little. "Well, it's hard." We spent the class laughing and joking. For a tough leader John Connor hade a great sense of humour.

The bell rang and we packed up our stuff, it was two more classes then lunch.

"You know, I was thinking of going out for lunch, I don't have class afterwards, we could go for a nice one? If you want?" John asked politely.

My heart did back-flips. "I'd love to, where should I meet you?" I asked, trying to not sound so eager.

"the front doors." "Okay. Bye!" I walked away, my whole body shaking with anticipation, and nerves. Cameron came up to John, with what little emotion she could show, she looked angry and confused.

"Where are you going without me? That's not safe. I'll have to tell her." She went to grab her phone.

"No stop. Just let me go. I like Astrid okay? And I think she can help me. She's different, and I think she knows something about the future."

"How?"

"Well she called me John Connor…That's not my name: well it is, but no one knows that. She knows about the future, or she's come to kill me." John was laughing at his attempt of humour, but Cameron didn't find it funny.

"She could be dangerous. I sensed a fast heart beat and excess perspiration." John laughed.

"She could be nervous?" Cameron shook her head.

"Look, I'm going to go, no matter what. And I'll be safe, so please don't tell mom, I really don't want her to worry. And no, you are not coming. I really like this girl."

John went to walk away. Cameron stood in her spot and grabbed his arm.

"What is her name?" John sighed

"Astrid Milton. Why? Who is she in the future?" Cameron looked at him.

"No record of her that I know. She doesn't exist. Her father though, is one of your soldiers. He is associated with Kyle Reese." John stood still. Kyle Reese- his father. John always tried so hard not to think about it. How was he supposed to send his father back in to time to die? But then, if he didn't he wouldn't exist. Pretty fucked-up. John walked away.

"You will not tell my mother and you will not come." Cameron nodded.

"Fine." She said.

John met me at the front doors like he said. I was so excited and nervous. This was kind of a date, sort of.

"I'm pretty lucky today. My mom hates it when I drive, but I got the car." He smiled proudly as he opened the door for me. I smiled, as I sat down I noticed under his back seat was a compartment, no doubt holding artillery. He got in. He smelled so good.

"Alright, so where do you want to go?"

I shrugged. "I don't care."

"Cool." John drove us to a small restaurant that wasn't busy. He asked for the table in the back, for privacy. I began to get nervous. Why did he want privacy? He went to the bathroom quickly before we ordered food. During that time I went over every single word ever spoken between us. I was trying to figure out why the sudden interest in me, why the privacy. Then it hit me. I slipped up. When I greeted him this morning I said John Connor. I said his last name, but he introduced himself as something else. Shit. I got worried. What was I going to do? How was I going to fix that mistake? What if he killed me? John returned and we ordered. He got the Bacon and Cheese Burger and I got a garden salad with a side of fries. At that time Megs and I were going vegetarian. I don't remember why though.

John cleared his throat. I got sweaty.

"Look I have something to ask you…" he started, he didn't look at me he just stirred his water with his fork. I got nervous, I started to shake.

"It's okay, I'm not going to freak. I'm just curious as to how you knew my name is John Connor? No one knows that. And how come your father fights with my father in the resistance? I just want to know." He said calmly, he finally looked at me. His piercing blue eyes stabbed my heart. They had this way about them you just wanted to pour your heart and soul into them, they were kind eyes.

"Well…okay…" I started, I had trouble finding the right thing to say. But I managed some how. "My father is, or was, is going to be your father's best friend. When your father comes, goes back in time my father goes, comes too. My father stays and had, has me and my brother. He raises, or raised us to be prepared for the upcoming war. We're both trained fighters. We know almost everything to do with the future. And you." I blurted it out so fast, it's a miracle he understood. But he did. He stared at me, the food came, and then he ate.

After he finished his meal he looked at me and smiled.

"This will make us being friends easier." I laughed. The entire time I was dieing, I thought he would hate me forever, but no, he just smiled.

"Definitely. I have to ask you something, who's Cameron? I know she's not your sister. I mean she might be, but you only have, or had, or will have…but will lose, a brother."

John starred at me. "A brother?" he smiled. I didn't have the heart to tell him that his brother was the bastard son of Kyle Reese with a random woman, and both the boy and her die, in a tragic explosion.

"So your dad could tell me about my…about my dad." John looked at me with the most eager and serious expression. I smiled weakly.

"if you wish, but I'd advise not. My dad is a bit crazy. The whole thing, everything, the war, losing Kyle, losing my mom, being stuck in the past, it's been hard on him, and he's no longer sane." I said it calmly, but I was dieing inside.  
It took me years to figure out what was wrong with my dad, and even longer to admit it. Reese knew though, and he was there for me and my dad. He held our family together. John smiled warmly. I couldn't imagine this boy as the cold leader my father spoke of.

"Well I think we should head back, or at least somewhere else." He said as he stood up. He paid for dinner, I thanked him and we headed to the vehicle. The drive was quiet, I could tell John was thinking hard, I didn't want to disturb him but I needed to know something.

"Did you ask me out for lunch because I know of your future and everything, or because I'm a nice girl?" I asked, I didn't look at him, I looked straight out the window.

I heard John sigh. "Both." He replied. More silence ensued.

"You seem to be nice, don't get me wrong, but I'm confused about the future. You have answers." He said it unemotionally as he stared ahead of him on the road.

"I do have answers, but I can't reveal too much. Some facts you must learn on you own. That's just how it is. Sorry."

John looked at me "you remind me of my mother, so much." His eyes were so kind. I melted, I blushed and smiled. That's compliment, it's well known Sarah Connors is John's idol, too be compared to her is a true sign of respect.

"Thanks John, so, where are we off to next?" He winked, I was confused.

"You know my entire life we've always been on the move. Going from place to place, it's strange I've never had like a place. A place to just go and be me. Well, I realized there's a common place, in all the places we go. Parks. They're all sort of the same. So I dunno, they became my 'place'. I go there and I think about my dad, and judgement day, and Cameron, and my mom. It's nice, and it's all mine yeah know?"

I was so shocked be listening to the inner most thoughts of John Connor, it was weird and amazing; perfectly sublime. I was in my own utopia. But I was apprehensive, why was he telling me this? Was he being genuine, or not? I wanted to believe the best, this was not the same John Connor my father knew. I wanted to trust him, I did trust him. I loved him. I would always trust him.

"Sounds great" I smiled, John laughed.

"I know you're wondering why I'm telling you this…but I just thought you should know. Especially since I'm taking you there."

I looked at him in complete shock. He was taking me to his 'place'! How amazing! I was freaking out. I was so afraid he could hear my heart beat. I started to shake with anticipation and nerves. "Really?" I asked, trying not to sound freaked/excited.

"Really, I want to show you. Astrid, I know I barely know you, but, it's just you know my burden, I mean my future. You know what happens, you know who I become and what happens to the world. No one else does. We have a connection, and it's so rare so I think we should become close yeah know? I feel like I can tell you all the shit I've always wanted to tell someone. And I'm totally here to listen to all your shit." John smiled, his eyes were passionate, I was so nervous, and so inspired, I couldn't wait to here what he had to say.

We pulled up to a park, it was warm out and we sat on a bench at first. John started to talk, he had so much to say, about everything. He talked about movies, songs, school, books. He didn't mention his mother, Cameron, or anything. He just talked about everything else. For once I saw him in a different way. His heart wasn't heavy, he wasn't burdened, and his eyes no longer looked as damaged. He was just himself. With me he could be himself. He didn't feel the need to hide anything, so he was free to talk about anything and everything. He didn't need to be depressed, or talk about the pending doom of the world. We must have spent hours there, John just talked and I listened. When we realized the time we both freaked. It was 4 o'clock, school ended an hour ago.

"Quick, I'll drive you home. Shit my mom is going to kill me." He looked panicked. And sadly we were brought back to reality, the burned returned.

"Well, my dad's a work, but Reese might kill me." I joked, John looked at him, apparently I wasn't funny.


End file.
